Anal Fisting: Hell Yeah!

I have been neglecting this blog, mainly cause I have had nothing of any interest to say, which is funny, because my life has never been more exciting. I guess that just so much has been going on, that I haven’t really known where to start.

This weekend I had a chance to really make a name for myself in the amazing and exciting world of jamband journalism. I think I may have really screwed that one up. Monks and I decided we were going to write an article for his friends at Glide magazine about a fairly up and coming band within the whole “scene”. We went to see them this weekend, in an extravaganza known as the “Monkey Birthday Ter”. Oh, what a ter it was. I don’t think either of us remember too much about the show on Friday night. I remember vomiting at the hotel before the show, telling the band they sucked during set-break and accidentally peeing on a tee shirt that their manager had given to me. So, it was obvious that we couldn’t really write about our experiences on Friday night. Then, on Saturday, when I was finally coherent enough to get some sound bites from the band members, I engaged each of them in a conversation about anal fisting, and while it was very entertaining, I am pretty sure that a reputable music magazine will not print an article based on anal fisting (even though I’ve got a great title “Anal Fisting: Hell Yeah! 3 Nights on the Road with …) Come Monday, I was so exhausted I had no interest in seeing anyone in the band, and post show the only thing I wanted to do was go home and go to sleep. I guess the only saving grace of this whole debacle is that Monks got some amazing shots, and that Glide is giving us a chance to prove ourselves again at Langerado. That, and I had a killer fucking time.

I am going to try and update my blog on a more consistent basis. I’ve been playing with MySpace a lot instead. I am easily distracted…

Oh-and a very happy birthday to you, Primetime Maceo! Great to see you and your lovely lady the other night!

Happy Birthday, Monks!

Thank you for being one of the best friends a girl could ask for (even if you do occasionally call me a bitch!). Have a very happy day-smooches!

Torino-2006

It's on, bitches!

USA, USA, USA!!!

Whiskey Dix

Ah, memories. Aren’t they just fantastic?

Last October, CPT and I went to go see a show at the Electric Factory in Philadelphia, PA. We got to Philly wicked early, and decided that getting highly intoxicated was our best bet for the afternoon. Luckily, there is this bar right next to the Electric Factory, and CPT and I had no problem sideling on up to it. Well, a few hours of heavy drinking ensues, and by the time show-time was rolling around, we were bombed. I don’t remember if this next move was intentional or not, but for some reason, CPT left a credit card that was not functioning at the bar, and never actually closed our tab.

Many hours, and many free drinks later, the show had ended and we were hanging out with our friends in the band backstage. I was standing in one of the hallways, doing something (although I cannot remember what) when a slightly familiar face begins walking towards me, with two police officers in tow. At this point, I am not sure how I know this guy, I just know he looks really angry, he has two cops with him, and he is walking directly towards me. This dude got right up in my face, and says to me; "Where the hell is your friend? " Confused, I inquired as to which friend he meant, and he told me he was referring to CPT. I asked the guy what it was in reference to, and he told me it was regarding the bar tab from earlier in the day.

Not wanting to embarrass anyone involved (or get anyone in trouble, keep in mind, there were two cops accompanying this guy and we were backstage at a rock and roll show), I slyly went in to a room and caught CPT’s eye. I suggested that she come in to the hallway immediately, and although she looked confused (and pretty pissed that I was taking her away from all the fun) she followed me out the door. Anyway, the bartender was pissed, she hadn’t closed the tab and he wanted his money, or else the cops that were with him were going to arrest her. She gave him a wad of cash and apologized.

Now, you may wonder why I am telling this story, since it happened months ago. I have somehow ended up on this bars mailing list, and I get e-mails from them bi-weekly informing me of the activities that will be happening at the bar. I could probably get off the mailing list very easily (for I don’t live in Philly and have no need to know about the events at this bar), but every time I open up my inbox and see an e-mail from Whiskey Dix (that’s right, the bar is named Whiskey Dix) I can’t help but smile. The moral of the story: don’t get bombed and leave a bad credit card at a bar (either that or stop going places with CPT, trouble follows this girl like nobodies business).

Funny Monkey

Your wish is my command, Firefly.

Ain't Nothing Like Two Cowboys In Love

How Rude!

"Full House" Star Admits Meth Problem
Wed Feb 01, 8:36 PM ET

Former Full House cutie Jodie Sweetin has earned herself a spot on the lengthy list of child stars gone wrong.

During an appearance on Good Morning America Wednesday, Sweetin, who played middle sister Stephanie Tanner on the hit sitcom, revealed that she is a recovering meth addict and once battled a daily drug habit.

The ex-actress, 24, said she had trouble figuring out how to adjust to a regular childhood existence after Full House ended its run in 1995.

"There is a certain sense of loss when a series ends," Sweetin said. "It is kind of hard to figure out who you are when you've lost your job at age 13, when that was basically how you identified yourself."

She was soon addicted to methamphetamine and using the debilitating drug every day.

Though Sweetin stops short of blaming her addiction on her child star lifestyle, she concedes that her career may have stripped her of some of the benefits of a typical childhood.

"Growing up in the business you have to grow up very fast--you do have a different type of childhood, that has its benefits and it has its drawbacks," Sweetin said Wednesday.

After a particularly bad three-day bender, which reportedly resulted in an intervention staged by her former Full House costars, Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, John Stamos and Bob Saget, Sweetin checked herself into Promises rehab facility for six weeks of intensive therapy.

Clean and sober since March of last year, Sweetin now admits she was "living a total double life."

"I was married to a police officer--we are going through a divorce right now--he had no idea," she said.

Since kicking her addiction, Sweetin says she now hopes to get back into acting.

"I want to make movies, TV series, wherever the career takes me," she said. "I really hope this isn't the last people hear of me. In fact, I would like to make this a footnote in my career, not the end."

That Monkey is Smoking!

Just when I thought there was nothing funnier then a skating monkey, I saw this. Monkeys are funny when they are just being themselves. They are even funnier when they are smoking cigarettes.

Some Insight In To My Life (Provided by Chris Rock)

{I love champagne} Feels good to my brain, baby

{I love champagne} Drink it in the rain, yeah

{I love champagne} Say it once again, yeah

{I love champagne} Hoooo

Nigga, I'm broke, and feelin' kinda thirsty

Just smoked a blunt, and I feel the worst-y

My baby's father brought me a case of St. Ide's

I said, "I don't drink that shit, nigga, you better recognize!"

Now I'm a broke hoe with expensive tastes

I got six ankle chains around my waist

Gotta get my sip on {sip on} cause that's my missi-on

Gotta get my champagne on, or I'm gonna get my bitch on

{I love champagne} Feels good to my brain, baby ...

{I love champagne} Drink it in the rain, yeah ...

{I love champagne} Say it once again, yeah ...

{I love champagne} Hoooo ...

Donna Karan, Versace

Doce cellular phone

I'd trade my welfare and food stamps for a bottle of Dom

See I like Moet, Chen-Don, whatever that means

I can drink it without snails but prefer it with greens

Now coke costs too much and crack gives me gas

But if you give me champagne, I'll give you this black aaaass ...

You wanna give me what I NEED, baby! (No I don't!)

I want the lucci, the Lex, AND the bigets! (You can't have it!)

And don't forget to Bring the Pain! (I got it!)

The CHAMpagne!

{I love champagne} Feels good to my brain, baby

{I love champagne} Drink it in the rain, yeah

{I love champagne} Say it once again, yeah

{I love champagne} Once again(Ladies and gentlemen, Kool Rock Ski!)

I drink champagne in the day!

I drink champagne at the bay!

I drink champagne in my car!

Hehehehehaw, hehehehehehehaw!

I drink champagne on the plane!

I drink champagne when I'm in Spain!

I drink champagne in my Lex!

I drink champagne when I have sex!

I drink champagne at the zoo!

I drink champagne with my crew!

I drink champagne in the hood!

I drink champagne with Tiger Woods! (With Tiger Woods!) Huh!

(Tiger Woods y'all, Tiger Woods y'all, it's all good y'all,Tiger Woods y'all, it's all good y'all, Tiger Woods y'all, it's all good y'all,I drink champagne when I hustle, I drink champagne with Nipsey Russell,Tiger Woods y'all, it's all good y'all, Nipsey Russell - huh?)