Can a brotha get a table dance?!?

With this whole "year in review" thing going on as we speak, this post may get lost in the mix. Perhaps that is for the better, but I couldnt go on without sharing these words of wisdom with all you fine readers. I recently told a friend of mine about my failed attempts to manage to go to a strip club with two beautiful girls in tow (to clarify, it was one of the ladies ideas and not mine) so this was my friend's response:

well well well... going to strip clubs without me eh!
what were the options? something downtown or some place closer to Bethesda? the difference? barely covered or totally nude!!!

well...now that you didn't manage to go due to your approach (ie how you asked them to go) I am assuming you blatently asked "do you want to go to a strip club?"( this line would work on someone like me, however you must always gauge the woman you are asking) you might as well have asked her "hey Lady, do you want to have some women's snatch right in you face tonight?" straight to the point but still same results.
I realize men love naked women! its sort of built in... i think they have been enjoying since the day they were born - halfway down the birth canal there they are, enjoying the view!!! :)

well that explanation may not have done it for her either....

How to get a woman to come to a strip club with you and actually enjoy it is a lesson for some other time! since you failed in your quest you now have 2 choices.

1. You may either just pop in a video such as Lesbian Spank Inferno (no you may not borrow it)
2. you may go out to a disco and dance in the reggae section ( you know - you leaning against a wall in a dark corner with a girl's back towards you while she does all the bumping and grinding all in the name of getting to know each other).

Both of these options will give you the same desired results except they would cost you less then going to a strip club. I think option 1 is great cause you can decide whether to be nude or not. Apart from that, you can pause, rewind and of course there is that magical zoom button.
What is awesome about option 2 is that you owe the girl nothing except a good time with no strings attached (its just a dance right?) and with a little imagination you could totally visualize her naked.

Overall, both you will give the desired results. However, option 1 is just you, your hand and a bunch of lesbians going at in like ________ (fill in the blank) but the girls are not alive which is always a big problem despite this you may still come to realize this is not an important part of the process. With option 2 you may luck out and during the bumping and grinding her skirt may ride up and ______ ( don't act shocked! i have seen it happen at quite respectable places i.e. The State Theater and the 9:30 club - really seedy places when i think about it now). What would be even better is if you spend a couple of dollars, get her and her friend drunk and turn on your rude boy http://www.rootsworld.com/rw/feature/rudeboy.html charm on full blast you may have your personal Lesbian Inferno.

So now that you have your options instead of asking women to go to strip clubs just ask them "Would you like to go to a disco with me? its less intimidating and i hear the reggae section has it going on...

Good luck and Godspeed,
(name suppressed)

PS. I cant believe i used God in an email about a strip club but if Matt stone and Tey parker can do it why cant i?